Muslimama
One of the beautiful things the social web brings with it: Hadithuna, a fresh Muslim blogging community, of young Muslims who share so gracefully pieces of their lifes with other bloggers. One of them is Muslimama, the Muslim mama diary, and here are the first posts.
Menu menace
What should I cook today…. that same ol tough question that SAHM’s face every darn day!Nothing like the kind of questions floating around the stock market these days but, a pertinent one no doubt!
I have a set of meals that I make and the family enjoys but, despite the long list of food sites with wow recipes, that are oh so cool and easy to make … come dinner time I’m stuck !
Recently I decided to pick recipes that I hope to make during the course of a week.I usually do this on a Sunday, and then tick it off as I go. Makes me feel all “good home maker-ish” and accomplished.
There’s always a way to twist your arms and get things done eh?
The Generation Gap
If you thought that I was talking about myself and the kids, well, that’s not what this is is about!
I live with my mum in law, and she is a mother of three grown up males (of course, hubby is fully grown…so I think). In her time she was considered a great example of good parenting and so far the results of her efforts are still to be seen.However, I find not all that was done to kids earlier in terms of punishment or strictness would work now.
I at times have this ongoing thing about pleasing both generations , but, in the end one thinks of what is good and feasible for the kids.This often can lead to disapproval from elders, and as a mother I do things my way only if I know I’m doing it for their good, not out of some ” I can do it better than you” attitude.No hard feelings (ideally) ought to be involved! And I do listen to all words of caution and methods, before putting it through the “feasibility” scan. I take a good chunk of it, and adapt it to my kids needs(and my own style of relating to them,learnt over the years) and some of them work well,but others well are out dated.I think there was a Hadith about bringing your kids differently from the way one was raised.I’ll try to find it and put it up here!
However, I must add that there is a vast amount of knowledge to gain from the parenting experiences of our elders, and I hope I don’t ever in my moments of stupidity miss out on them!
Do you sense a bit of guilt here??
Daughters of our time
I won’t make huge claims of childhood piety…no! But, I will go as so far to say that yes, I was never allowed to forget who I was , nor my culture by my parents, and this shaped my upbringing greatly. I had several non-muslim friends in my Catholic convent school in Mumbai, India ,and studied under western influence, but was not allowed to participate in certain activities quite as freely as my friends.And they understood.I could not wear shorts to a class picnic to the beach, nor eat non vegetarian if it was not halal.I did not feel the burden of being ‘different’. So what am I getting at…?
It is now my turn…life has now come full circle, and I now have to keep my lil eleven year old daughter on the right path. That is one in which there are minimal experiences of an identity crisis, and since I’ve done it fairly well with her elder brothers, I guess it should be easy to handle this one too.
Ah! But no…this one is emotional and has several emphatic “why”s and”wherefores”.I have to deal with tantrums and tears. Boys, well, they can sort things out with logical arguments, with facts and religious evidence given … for questions like, why should I not have a girlfriend like my other buddies. And it is understood, and accepted with wisdom.
Now this one wants to know why and when is the latest possible time that she must wear a head scarf! Why certain fashionable clothes are just not worn by Muslim girls.Hah!It doesn’t seem to work quite like it did for the boys.My arguments tend to get laced with more emotion, more threats and more scariness than it did with the boys.
Was I like this and have I just forgotten? Or should I place the blame on the genes of some gran hat loves fashion till today..mmm? Or is it thanks to all these Hannah Montana and lizzies of the world that I find this battle a bit tougher, and should I worry, despite seeing her have a strong moralistic streak on most matters.
These are some of the questions that I ask myself about raising my daughter in these modern times!