If I were Taliban’s Advisor
By Anwaar Hussain
Listen up Government of Pakistan. If I were a Taliban advisor, this is what I would advise them;
First and foremost I would tell Hakimullah Mehsud, the Shadow of God, to raise the golden whip of religion a little higher and continue wielding it at that height flogging all and sundry every once in a while in the name of God, the Prophet and the Holy Book, throwing in America with each lash for good effects. It will serve a triple purpose, I will tell him. The opponents will remain guilty with their hearts never into their task. Our mujahideen will continue to die for us in their quest for heavens and the never ending pleasures that lie therein. And lastly, but equally importantly, fresh recruits will be drawn to our cause like moths to the flame. The golden whip, I will tell the Emir, is to be the central pillar of our strategy and there should never be any forgetting of this vital fact.
Having so affixed the mainstay of our strategy, next I would advise him that lengthening the current conflict favors us Taliban. And that while military resistance must continue in the long-drawn-out struggle, the bulk of the effort should gradually shift to political subversion through already supportive leaders of Islamic parties and malleable pseudo-seculars both within and outside the government. The idea, I would tell him, is to recruit enough people close to the nerve centers of the civilian government and the military apparatus to be able to ultimately seize control of governmental structure, given the signal.
Along with our efforts for political subversion, I will counsel my boss, we should take the war into the cities big time now. That Pakistan has become increasingly urbanized and if a change has to come it will be from the urban rather than the rural. That the hitherto infrequent suicide attacks were simply neither big enough for Pakistan’s burgeoning mega-cities nor scary enough for their populace. By taking the war to the cities, not only will we terrorize the already somewhat terrified Pakistani nation some more, we will also sow chaos and disorder, I will opine. That is sure to invite a governmental backlash in the shape of further dictatorial measures in the name of security. Using the golden whip, we will quickly paint this reaction as a Godless government’s repression of an innocent Muslim populace. Not only will we further frustrate the opponents, separating the people from the government is the corner stone of our struggle any way. The golden whip always, I will remind my lord.
Parallel to our strategies above, I will advise for raising the barbarity level up a notch or two. Up until now we have been rather careful in our mode and methods, what with just a few hundred killings every couple of weeks. Plus, suicide bombings have been repeated so many times, with some anonymous miserable wretches blown to doll rags, that the effects are now lukewarm. The Pakistani nation too has become kind of ‘bomb-proof’ to this routine. Let us introduce the full scale slaughter of women and children, I would plead. That though the chosen targets should preferably be related to government’s officials, army personnel, media men and other prominent opponents, any one’s family would do if the situation so demands. Later, brandishing the golden whip, we could always lay the blame on the Uzbeks, the Indians, the Jews, the Americans or any combination thereof. Simple really, I would add.
Next, I would point out that a time has come for our Jihad to move beyond clans, tribes and ethnic groups. That though marshaling the Punjabi Taliban was a good first step; we now needed to go national on urgent basis. Common Pakistanis needed to be rallied in our support and in that we should appeal to the exploited and the repressed by playing up their grievances. Economic injustices can foster revolutionary unrest, as can racial or ethnic persecution, I will remind the big man. Not only that, we should also invite more criminals, common thugs, mercenaries, murderers and all others who want to wash their sins by fighting for the holy cause. That should be easy, I would hint. Because under the present system, people have been indiscriminately abused maltreated, victimized, and dishonored for a rather long time. So while on the one hand we would remind the people of the tyrannical excesses of the present system, on the other we must promise them political, social, and economic benefits once our Caliphate takes hold. All this under the hiss of the golden whip of course. The results would be sure, I would emphasize.
Once I have rendered all of the above advices, I will respectfully take my Emir to a corner and give him the ULTIMATE ADVICE. And that is that once the Taliban have the reins of power firmly within their grasp, we would then have to swiftly deal with two problems i.e. the problems of the ‘will of the people’ and the internal power struggle. It would be here that I will let my lord in on the real usage of the golden whip. To be the lifelong Caliph of a submissive Caliphate, I would suggest daring a wink, we will simply goldwhip into the system the ‘will of God’ and out of it the ‘evil’ power seekers, with the ‘will of the people’ taking a well deserved hike after a thorough flogging of course. The golden whip always, I will remind the Caliph, giving him the example of the next door Iran.
Two questions then. One, whose advisor the scribe really is? And two, who was it that said, “Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it.”?
Anyone?
The Emir seems to know all this already. Witness the Peshawar and the Rawalpindi incidents and the increasing mayhem.
SOME PROBLEMS YOUR EMIR HAS TO TACKLE:
The barbarity of the Taliban actions will strengthen the Army’s resolve to eliminate these animals from our midst.
The moderate Muslims and the secular civil society is increasingly vocal in support of the Waziristan action and is being well supported by the electronic media.
The Golden Whip of Islam is losing its luster, when it has to face the silver drones of the US Shaitan !
I hope the bearded buffoons who support the talibs are also reading what you write. If they have an iota of sense, they will see the light and turn away from these scum who are bringing a bad name to a great religion.
All Power to the Infidel !!
Haziq.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:17 pmWhile this is no laughing matter, the article did bring me to smile a bit. Of course, you are correct in highlighting the obvious (the sad part is it is only obvious for a few).
Although the most immediate problem is the crazy and uncompromising mind of the Taliban, I believe the bigger problem is the other side (ahem … our side). This is not really a battle between the good and the evil, because the good is not that much better than the evil. While we cannot compete with the other side in the number of suicide bombers and the level of irrationality, we sure have most of those on our side, who are responsible for allowing the society to arrive at such a point (by training the talibs, by looting the public funds indiscriminately, by desecrating the constitution time and again, by mutilating the rights of minorities such as Ahmadis, to name a few atrocities of our own). Maybe I am bit naive but in order for us to hope that good should prevail, should good NOT be actually better.
btw, its is always a pleasure to read your thoughts, sir.
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:19 pmAnwaar,
Your advice is good enough to be ignored; that’s why you did so. My answer to your first question: a devil’s advocate pin points weak areas for subsequent remedial actions. With lofty and fertile imagination, you alluded really well.
Let the Taliban know that we have whips aplenty in the guise of our amoral political leaders, our immoral bureaucrats, and in fact any one who wields some authority to cheat, usurp or embezzle. They will do anything that fascinates their greed.
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:34 pmAnwaar, It’s high time that our establishment finally realizes that our real enemy are these Talibans & not Indians. Due to poverty, lack of economic opportunities and other amenities provided to the citizens of Pakistan, they are very easily lured away towards heaven and 72 virgins waiting for them at the gates of heaven. These poor, ignorant, brain washed and uneducated are very easily duped with false promises of virgins & heaven.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:59 pmAlthough i don’t have any hope but Lets prey we come out of this Taliban war.
our army should kill 1 to 100 in retaliation of any sicide bombing.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:26 pmAnwaar, your ADVICE was so well articulated that I felt close proximity of your master & could even listen the shush of that great whip. Be mindful, wink of eye may not go very well with that God’s man.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:32 pmAs-Salaamu Allaykum Anwaar:
What you’ve recited can be no less a prescription for what the amoral, immoral and thoroughly reprehensible rulers may be plotting to do to us here in Amerikka. I personally take great offence to our corrupt rulers, and wish I were back in my OTHER country Venezuela where I would support Chavez and his efforts to bring social and economic justice to Latin America.
I wish this UNHOLY and UNJUST warfare were OVER and we could get to the global peace table. This terror thing is not what I signed up for. These are wars that are totally contrived against all the people by the greedy and the rich oligarchs who are looting and pillaging our resources everywhere.
Even though I do not like fundamentalist religious zealots of any stripe, I do not blame the Taliban for self-defense. I always put the blame on the aggressor. OURS is the plot to take over the world on behalf of the world’s ruling oligarchs (vampires) in their final feeding frenzy.
AFRICOM and America’s Global Military Agenda: Taking The Helm Of The Entire World
http://www.blacklistednews.com/news-6094-0-25-25–.html
Club of Rome | New World Order
http://www.jeremiahproject.com/newworldorder/club-of-rome.html
Dissecting The New Age: The Trinity of Global Empire
http://sovereignsentience.blogspot.com/2008/12/trinity-of-global-empire.html
the global elite, the rothschilds, the men who control the world, oligarchs, 13 families
http://www.masterjules.net/globalelite.htm
Oh, and BTW, I always was a fan of Aladdin and his lamp. The stories of 1001 Arabian Nights always were my favorites. You look good in those robes Anwaar.
May ALLAH/GOD bring us PEACE, not WAR, my brother. Let us all pray for that.
JO in AZ, USA
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:12 pmAlways a pleasure!
Richard
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:17 pmRe:Haziq
Quote:
“The Emir seems to know all this already. Witness the Peshawar and the Rawalpindi incidents and the increasing mayhem.”
Naa! That is nowhere close enough to the ruthlessness that I know they are capable of. Girdle up for more.
May I be proven wrong.
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 pmRe:Masroor
I get your point sir. But then we are both from the same cloth. Let’s see who blinks first. The other will have a chance to go for it.
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:24 pmRe: RICHARD who? RICHARD, is that YOU??? THE RICHARD K in Costa Rica? If it is, RSVP this post.
BTW, regarding the topic under discussion, a recent piece from one of the best writers anywhere:
Truthdig – Reports – Opium, Rape and the American Way
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20091102_opium_rape_and_the_american_way/
This is a war against US, the civilians of EVERY nation.
Global War and Dying Democracy: The Revolution of the Elites
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=14839
JO in AZ, USA
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:37 pmAnwaar, I realize how difficult it was for you to put yourself in the shoes of the militants and terrorists and imitate to play the role of their chief advisor. But I must say, you have to be a true devil, not fake devil, to know exactly what the militants and terrorists want.
They want to overthrow government of Pakistan, become Khalifa. Emir, Qazee (Judge), Muftee, Kotwaal (Prosecutor), jury, executioner, butcher and owner of Pakistan.
One half of Pakistan population (that is women) should not get education. The terrorists and militants will fill their homes, barns and warehouses with as many women as they want and any leftovers will be for non-militants and non-terrorists just to make babies and do cooking and house cleaning. That is what they believe women are for.
TV, Radio, electricity, fridge, stove, water sink, shower, cars, buses, guns, medical equipment and everything that has been invented during the last 1300 years, will be officially declared “Bidaat” (inventions) as such Haraam. They will prove that these things makes your life comfortable and if you make this worldly life comfortable, you are defeating the purpose of Jannah (Paradise) where life is supposed to be comfortable.
If indeed you become their advisor, do not forget to tell them to confiscate the Holy Quran from every mosque and homes and hide them away because all their deeds and agenda are against the teachings of the Holy Quran. I will mention at least one here
“If any one killed a person, it would be as if he killed all mankind; and if any one saved the life of a person, it would be as if he saved the life of all mankind.” (Quran V: 32).
Can you imagine the value of a single human life in front of Allah and then see these evil beast taking so many innocent lives in each suicide blasts? Do you call them Muslims? They are worst than Kaafirs.
Anwaar, you may be thinking I am trying to take away your job but I wish I had just a small farction of your education and knowledge. I have always admired your writings and my most favorite is:
The Origin and Fate of the Pakistani Mullahs
I have distributed this to many people that I know. Even the Dawn Columnist Cowasjee has read this and says to me “Thank you. Most revealing. Should be widely distributed.”
Long live Anwaar.
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:23 pmsir again it was indeed a learning to know your point of view, but sir with great respect to your intellect, and extraordinary way of expression i would humbly like to suggest that perhaps in wake of hatred against these so called talibans we are actually forgetting our real enemy and i would say with extreme sadness that one such comment is up there written by one of the regular readers.totally sparing INDIANS i cant believe such naive thoughts,
its really an alarming time where we ve turned our barrels inwards, rather than outwards just one thing i would like to say this problem will always always stay alive till the time we say the half truth, and the truth is that in the core of the problem lies both with talibans and united states of america, since right now we are the great non NATO allies so we are no different than AMERICANS. i still dont believe that recent bombings in peshawer and pindi was done by talibans.
any way sir congrats for bringing up these thoughts in a nice way looking forward for the next time good luck
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 pmTaliban got plenty suicide bombers.
U S A got plenty homicide bombers.
Goes down to whether the Taliban runs out of fools.
Or American runs out of dollars and patience.
Can’t see the Taliban ever being short of idiots.
November 4th, 2009 at 3:45 amSupporters and sympathizers of Taliban say Pakistan Army is fighting America’s War because they only see Americans killed in suicide blasts, not Pakistanis. The fact is all victims are Pakistanis, not a single American. But according to them, Pakistan Army is fighting for Americans, not Pakistanis. What a bunch of ignorant, color blinds zombies.
November 4th, 2009 at 7:58 amHmmm!! This just in;
Check it out in full here.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:01 amThis is the country the Taliban and their supporters want to take fifteen centuries back;
November 4th, 2009 at 8:12 amAnwaar, Our dear Zia ul haq was doing things on those lines. COAS…Taliban .. What’s the difference.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:56 am@ asad
Why did you bring INDIANS, AMERICANS, NATO in this debate? I am not saying Indians, Americans or NATO are friendly to Pakistan but you have to understand they are not fighting Pakistanis at least now. They are not killing innocent Pakistani men, women and children on daily basis. You are so naive that you even do not know who are killing Pakistanis at this time.
I do not blame you, there are many like you in Pakistan and it will take, may be hundreds of years before they are fully educated. According to UN survey, the literacy rate in Pakistan is less than 50%. This is the cause of real problem. They listen to half learned Mullahs and follow half learned Mullahs who are soaked in hate not only against non-Muslims but also against Muslims who are opposed to them.
November 5th, 2009 at 2:54 am@ Ashar Malik
You said” This is not really a battle between the good and the evil, because the good is not that much better than the evil.”
I do not understand what is your point.
As far as I see the evil militants and terrorists are killing the good innocent Pakistani men, women and children.
Are you trying to say that the innocents who are being killed or injured are no better than the “bad” militants and terrorists?
November 5th, 2009 at 3:05 amDear Mustafa,
Wars are usually waged by a few and for very selfish reasons. Most people do not really have much interest in this costly business. They just pay the ultimate price of being killed in the process as part of the collateral damage.
To answer your question clearly, of course evil militants are killing the good innocent men, women and children of our country.
I was comparing the two warring leaderships, the clearly crazy Taliban leaders and the repeatedly corrupt and spoiled leaderships of our country. The ‘evil’ side is well known and easily identified. For the good side, I was referring to the people who should be held responsible for the sorry state of politics, repeated military coups, sad breakup of our country, judicial killing of a prime minister, meddling in Afghanistan in the 80′s. These are some of many landmark screw-ups that have been committed by us which we must pay for.
You may ask why should we, as Pakistanis, pay for these screw-ups of our leaders? Because nations are ultimately responsible for the actions of their leaders since it is us who allowed these buffoons (and I do not discriminate between the civilian or the army ones) to lead us. This is a rather simplistic explanation of my original points but I do not want to overstay my visit in this forum.
Hope this clarifies my point of view to some degree.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:33 amMantiq, my dear friends, a bit of classical logic always puts us in good stead.
As a backdrop, when our nation had the situation with the infamous “Katrina”, breaking of the levees and flooding of New Orleans a perception of inadequate and immediate government response caused a lack of confidence in the ability of government to do its job.
I am constrained by the news I see, but it seems there is a preponderance of photography of military interface at suicide bombing, or vehicular blast sites after the event but there is a lack of secondary interface into the affected community. If it is already in play, my apologies.
The general population must see a flanking humanitarian military response at the ground zero level to retain their confidence and allay fear. May I respectfully suggest that each family of a victim receive an official visit from the a representative of the officer community and the receipt of discretionary funds to bury their deceased (or their deceased’ remaining body parts- damn the monsters)including a stipend to sustain the family unit while adjustment is made to loss of a breadwinner, or a caregiver within the home? *I believe President Obama just signed off on the yearly multi-billion dollar aid package to Pakistan? smile
Let the standard be such a strong one that eyes will be peeking out of windows in anticipation of the military response in the local community, awaiting the visit of an officer to the family of a victim of the Taliban. An assuring presence in a post-attack environment can go far to maintain psychological stability.
Confidence building measures must be quickly mounted and highly visible in all post-attack environments to counteract the intended message of the Talib. Increased foot patrols after an attack heighten the sense of vulnerability. Decompress the environment with the additional humanitarian flank.
Continued success, for the good of your nation.
Tammy Swofford
November 5th, 2009 at 6:48 amTHE HOLY LOOKING BEARDED MULLAH FAZLUR RAHMAN WANTS TO MEDIATE BETWEEN MILITANTS/TERRORISTS AND GOVERNMENT WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE TO WIPE OUT MILITANTS/TERRORISTS. SO BOTH HAVE TO MEET HALF WAY. WILL THAT RESTORE PEACE AND STOP TERRORISM WHOLE WAY OR HALF WAY? NO ONE KNOWS EXCEPT THE HOLY MULLAH. WHAT A JOKE…..
KHAR: Two women teachers were gunned down in Shandai Mor area of Bajaur on Wednesday.
According to eyewitnesses, masked gunmen stopped a vehicle, dragged the women out and sprayed them with bullets. Two men sitting in the vehicle also suffered bullet wounds.
The women were going home from their school in Khar.
The incident took place in a high security zone where there are many security checkposts.
Sources said that Shazia Begum and Shamim Begum worked in a government-run community school.
They belonged to Malakand district and lived in a government colony. Their bodies were sent to their villages.
The injured were identified as Liaquat and Nadir.
Meanwhile, security forces captured 12 suspected militants during search operations in Khar and Mamond areas and two militants, Mahmood Khan and Ziaur Rehman, surrendered.
Troops destroyed the house of suspected militant leader Sher Khan in Khar.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:33 amIt is sad, but it seems that no matter which party or parties win this war, the people lose. It just comes down to backing the least evil of an evil bunch of criminals, be they Taliban, Al Qaeda, Indians, US, Russians, Chinese, and any new entity that comes along. The people just want peace and to live their lives, that doesn’t seem to be in the interest of any of the players right now, war is good business!!!!
November 5th, 2009 at 8:36 amThis is what happening at present.
Advice of acquiring nuclear weapon for them won’t be such a bad idea so they can finish all human being in glance and rule the world on their own way. In advising them so ultimately you will be helping Pakistan government cause. You see the Talban have been a very fruitful industry for Pakistan in terms of foreign aid, in fact this is the industry earning the most for Pakistan for the past few decades. Who cares how many innocents are dying. The important thing is the dollars are coming.
Pakistani politicians have become seasoned traders of innocents life’s. They dance on the dead bodied gathering dollars. One of the live example is Fazalullah. He is very well been taken care of so they can better trade him in future.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:19 am@ Syed Maqsood HUssain
Pakistan is in a serious crisis far worst than when Bangla Desh broke up and when India attacked Pakistan. This time there are enemies within Pakistan killing Pakistanis through random suicide bombing and demolishing Pakistani infra-structures. They have just one goal. To overthrow the government of Pakistan and become rulers and rule as they wish without any opposition as they will slaughter all those who oppose them.
Pakistan Army is fighting the militants and terrorists to defeat them and destroy them.
This is not the time to bash government of Pakistan, its Army or past and present leaders. It is time to fight for survival unless you want to be enslaved by militants and terrorists. But if you are their friends and sympathizers, my deepest apology to you.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:58 pmWell, well, well!!! The Emir seems to have taken the central advice. He uses the golden whip, but on his fleeing soldiers if Pak Army is to be believed. He warns his fighters;
God, Satan, Hell, Jihad…the tried out and worn out cliches of the religious bigots when they feel the heat of high speed projectiles swooshing past dangerously close. Read it here.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:59 amLife cannot withstand death, but memory is gaining in the struggle against nothingness.
Tzvetan Todorov
November 7th, 2009 at 6:27 pmHmmm!! The Emir’s supporters seem already to be in place in the governmental structure;
Reference the para below;
Read it here.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:49 amAA Anwar Bhai,
To be very candid, I haven’t fathomed the whole of the article. Maybe I haven’t given much attention because of the office workload. But it seems to me in that you have written something against the Taliban. Anyhow, whatever you write must be based on facts whether that goes against Taliban or America. Siding with any one party is an injustice which will not be forgiven in the hereafter. Anyway, keep on writing I like to read your articles. Do publish my comments. Thanks
November 13th, 2009 at 9:58 amDear Anwaar,
This is pun at its best; except that this is no laughing matter. When two elephants fight it is the ground that gets destroyed. It is also true that in the end it is the silent majority that that suffers oppression. And also no ostrich like acts despite the feeling of security is secure. Good and exceptional writing, but apart from piece of excellent literature it is unlikely to change the ground realities. It will be the ashes which will tell how big the fire was. But don’t give up. like I said silence is just a step short of outright vocal condemnation, which of course is a step behind physical resistance.
January 12th, 2010 at 1:53 pm