Bush’s Adios

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Author’s note: The soon to come Bush’s farewell address will be delivered in Texican, his native language. To enjoy the address, you got to have a working knowledge of Texican. The lexicon for Texican is given at the end of this address.

By Anwaar Hussain

cowboy.gifGuys ‘n gals!

Howdy gang,

When I took over the presidency of this great country of ours, hombres used to say about me, “The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody drivin’”. In my eight years on top o’ the world I went on to prove all o’ them damn wrong. Though now I am as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party in most o’ the countries of the world yet if you’ve done it, it ain’t braggin’. I dunno how can one call someone a cowboy without havin’ seen him ride? Now only Iran sometimes reminds me that if one gits to thinkin’ one’s a person o’ some influence, he shud try orderin’ somebody else’s dawg around. A nucular strike is one way to teach the Iranian dawg some tricks though.

Before me the White House was so dry the trees were bribin’ the dogs. No fun’t all. When I became the head honcho o’ this ere country of ours, I told my crew that its time to paint your butts white and run with the antelope. Before me, they were used to boss-men who were jes big hats, no cattle. Me thought it was time they knew this ain’t my first rodeo.

O’ the Dem hopefuls, I have only this to say. Barack seems to be a guy who, dumber than dirt that he is, looks like the dawg’s been keepin’ him under the porch. He’s as full o’ wind as a corn-eatin’ horse. Sometimes, I feel like beatin’ him like a rented mule.

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Bush or bin Laden: Who is More Evil?

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By Ryan Yeomans Conneticut, Central State University Recorder Online

bush_undercover.jpgIt is the time of the year once again for Americans to mourn the loss of friends, family members and co-workers and to remember all who died on September 11, 2007. But while most of us hold the anniversary as a reminder of those who have passed and of the dangers that still exist everyday, Osama bin Laden has been spending his time grooming his beard and reading up on current events so that he can release a new video to the public. This year, bin Laden was nice enough to distribute two videos within a week, which together contain over an hour of new material.

The first video, which was released on the Thursday before September 11, contains 47 minutes of Osama speaking about everything from the holocaust to global warming. He praises the 9/11 hijackers and, as usual, suggests that Islam is the only option for savior. He continues by bashing George Bush and lists many interesting statements regarding the world’s current situation.

While I cannot support bin Laden’s opinion that all Americans should be killed and that Islam is the only way to be saved, it is hard to overlook the statements that he makes about the Bush administration.

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Is Bush the worst U.S. president ever?

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Historians might argue over ranking, but there’s no doubt he has been an unmitigated disaster

By Thomas Walkom, Columnist, Toronto Star

gb.jpgHistorians will argue over whether George W. Bush is the worst president the United States has ever endured. But that is not the point. Five years after Bush’s ill-starred invasion of Iraq, three years after Hurricane Katrina and seven months into the unravelling of the U.S. financial system, the point is that the 43rd president of the United States - regardless of his ranking in the pantheon - is a unique and unmitigated disaster.

Whether Bush is more of a warmonger than James Polk, who in 1846 manufactured a crisis with Mexico in order to seize what is now California, more tolerant of cronyism than poker-playing Warren Harding (1921 to 1923), or more unlucky than William Harrison (he died after catching cold at his 1841 inauguration) is interesting but irrelevant. What we do know is that this president, this “decider” (to use his favoured term), decided his way into a war that has destroyed the nation he was allegedly trying to free, destabilized further an already rickety Middle East and given Islamic terrorism a whole new raison d’etre.

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Brilliant men always betray their wives

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Einstein’s affairs should surprise no one, says Desmond Morris. It is all in the genius’s genes.

Off the beaten track 

einstein.jpg 
So Albert Einstein did not, after all, spend all his waking hours chalking up complex symbols on a blackboard. According to letters newly released, he devoted quite a bit of it to chasing the ladies. And with considerable success.

‘Einstein had the courage to plough ahead both on and off the intellectual field’

To many, the idea of Einstein having 10 mistresses does not fit the classical image of the great, remote genius. Why was he wasting his valuable time with the exhausting business of conducting a string of illicit affairs - affairs that would cause havoc with his family life, damaging especially his relationship with his sons?  The answer is that he, like many other intensely creative men, was over-endowed with one of the human male’s most characteristic qualities: the joy of risk-taking. Every creative act, every new formula, every ground-breaking innovation, is an act of rebellion that may - if successful - destroy an old, existing concept. So every time a brilliant mind sees a new possibility, it is faced with a moment of supreme risk-taking. Read more



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Anwaar’s articles appear simultaneously here at Truth Spring and at Soul Vibes in The Pakistan Tribune.


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